When we got our redundancy, myself and the lads went on the spree
A brand new passport in my hand as we took off for The Netherland
Myself and Dinny and O'Dwyer and Scut at Schiphol we were all half cut
We opened up the duty-free, the red lemonade and brandy
And we jumped on board a tram
Oh The Weekend that we spent in Amsterdam
Our first stop was the coffee shop, in we went and we all sparked up
Hashish from Pakistan, Morocco, Nepal and the Lebanon
All the boys was rollin' joints, they forgot to drink their pints
Water pipe came bubblin' around, took one pull and hit the ground
Lads wake him if you can
Oh The Weekend that we spent in Amsterdam
Sunday we went to The Blarney Stone, Paddy Wynne had The Leinster Final on
The Lily Whites and The Boys in Blue, the Majors and Taytos
Over to Mulligan's for the night, the bar was leppin' and the band was shite
De Burgh, De Bono and De Wolfe Tones'til Dinny grabbed the microphone
And gave us Van The Man
Oh The weekend that we spent in Amsterdam
Macker sez while we're here we'll go and have a look at the kinky gear
I said a quiet prayer I wouldn't bump into anyone from Kildare
Big dildos, blow-up dolls, snap-on tools and hairy balls
Vibrators, whips and chains, zips and fanny ticklers
God between us and all harm
Oh The Weekend that we spent in Amsterdam
Then we went for a midnight walk, all our eyes were out on stalks
Gay bars, bordellos, models in the windows with no clothes
Dinny he danced all night with a South American transvestite
Everything was goin' grand until Dinny tried to drop the hand There was pandemonium
Oh The Weekend that we spent in Amsterdam
The bouncer she was 5' 10", Lowland Heavyweight Champion
She hit Dinny an awful box, the boys ran amok and wrecked the shop
We could hear the squad cars getting near, it's time lads we were out of here
Dinny pulled up his tights and we disappeared into the night
All together now one by one
Oh The Weekend that we spent in Amsterdam
Queen Beatrix she rides her bike, Rembrandt is hangin' down in The Rijk
Ajax, Heineken, Van Gogh, The Gargle and The Ghanja
Monday morning we were all half cracked we dived into the Kaisergracht
They fished us out, hosed us down and put us on the plane to Dublin Home to the Mammy again
Oh The Weekend that we spent in Amsterdam
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